My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1961 - 1755: Inexplicable

Sometimes when I wake up alone, I realize that so many things have already changed, and many things are not the way they used to be.

After thinking about it, Zhang Yichen felt that the person he owed the most was not anyone else but his own father. It was he who forcibly took away the love his father should have received all these years. All of this was because of his own actions. He never considered how much loss his actions brought to his father. All the love that did not originally belong to him was given to him by his grandfather. The reason was simply because he did not agree to let his father come back home, forcing his grandfather to shut him out. Everything was because of him, because he made this family what it is now. Given that, what right and what reason does he have to forcibly kick them out of the family again? Is this really what a son should do? After doing all this, could it be that he really wouldn’t have any memories in the depths of his heart? What he seeks can never be found, yet time and again he hurts those who love him the most.

Zhang Zhentian couldn’t understand what kind of reason would make his son so absent-minded for so long. His son lived a very difficult life, never complaining to others about what he most wanted. He felt that as long as he was alive, it was the greatest happiness in the world. What he wanted, he thought he must get, by any means necessary, even if unscrupulously. What he couldn’t get, he would rather destroy than let others have. But seeing him like this made him, as a father, feel uneasy deep down.

"Child, no matter what you do, I am your father and will tolerate you, as long as you don’t misunderstand me over and over again. You should believe me; after all, I am also a son. I couldn’t bear to hurt my own father, even if these years I’ve been away from him, even if our relationship has become distant, he has always been my father. This cannot be changed just because I want it to. I cannot abandon you again and again, so I will never hurt him. At the necessary times, you should also have a little trust in your father, even if it’s just a little bit. Now, it wouldn’t make the family what it is.

Child, deep down in your heart, you know very well that all these years, no matter what, we never thought about harming you. You have a persecution complex, thinking we live in this house with ulterior motives, as if someone wants to harm you. But we are part of this family, your relatives. How could we bear to harm you? What good would it do us to harm you? We’ve never thought about how much loss and damage all these things would bring to us. You should also consider the feelings of us as parents. We are your parents, no matter what you say about us, we can let it go. But that doesn’t mean nothing will hurt me. I’m not a saint; I am flesh and blood, with a soul. Facing the doubt of my relatives, my heart will feel sad."

Zhang Yichen knew that what his father said made a lot of sense, but he really couldn’t bring himself to fully trust his parents. After all, everything they had done over the years was plain to see, and he had no way to forget it. If one day he could forget all the mistakes, perhaps he could really accept them. Now, allowing them to come back to this home and stay here is already good enough. Why do they still want to be so greedy in trying to win him over again and again? Isn’t that making things difficult for others? Accepting everything requires an adaptation period. If he is not even given the basic time to adapt, how can he accept them and distinguish between right and wrong, and know if they are truly remorseful?

"Dad, I know that no matter what we did wrong, in your eyes we are your children. You won’t ask us, but that doesn’t mean what you did will make my matters as if they never happened, right? Some things are painful and cannot be forgotten. Didn’t you think about how much harm you brought us? I have no way to just easily forget it. Now, grandpa is really crying because of what you said, so I came here angrily to confront you. But I didn’t do it on purpose. If you saw grandpa’s sad look now, would you really bear it in your heart?

Everyone’s experiences are indeed different, and the final outcomes everyone faces are also indeed different. But why does it always end this way? Over the years, I know the person I owe the most isn’t grandpa, it’s me. Because of me, grandpa focused all the love he should have given you onto me. He feels he owes you, and his good treatment of me is equivalent to being good to you. He considers me your son, and I should bear all his love for you. But in their hearts, the person they need the most, and love the most, will always be you, not me. Even if in front of others they say more good things about me, think I’m so impressive, in their hearts, the most needed and loved person will always be you, which no one can change.

The bond between father and son is something no one can replace.

If you feel that deep down you really owe grandpa, then please go apologize to him properly. As time passes, we will eventually forget all the unhappiness of the past, but that doesn’t mean grandpa can. He’s endured more pain than anyone, and desires less than anyone, but what have we given him all these years? He’s faced one blow after another from everyone, always silently enduring it alone. He knows that only by being strong can he protect those he wants to protect.

I’ve taken the love you should have received all these years — that’s my fault. I sincerely apologize to you. In every action I took, I never thought of harming any of you. I only hoped my grandpa could be happy, smiling all the time; to me, that was the greatest happiness. Because he gave me a second life, you should also understand this feeling that I’m repaying a debt of gratitude. No matter where or when, no one’s status can surpass his in my heart. Because he’s my grandpa, and the one who gave me my second life!"

I’ve finally realized that many things can’t be exchanged for a long-separated sigh, and that the autumn wind can never see the peach blossoms!