bestfiction Ch. 196 - Please, I'm Begging You -- Just Act Like a Human Being...
Ch. 196 - Please, I'm Begging You -- Just Act Like a Human Being...
"Yohooo~~~"Chen Shu gazed down at the city below and felt nothing but pure, unbridled joy. He couldn't help shouting at the top of his lungs.
Xu Xingxing and the others were equally pumped. They'd never dared fly so openly and brazenly before.
Ten minutes passed.
Fang Si's mouth twitched. She spoke up.
"Can you fly to the actual goddamn destination?! Are you people patrolling or sightseeing?!"
The Mutant Thunderbird had completed an entire loop and ended up right back above the hotpot restaurant.
They hadn't moved a single step from where they'd started...
"Uh... got a bit carried away there, got carried away..."
Xu Xingxing snapped to his senses immediately and steered the Mutant Thunderbird toward Wangxing Township.
Half an hour later.
The group had left the city proper and arrived in Wangxing Township, a jurisdiction under Nanjiang City.
The Mutant Thunderbird's arrival immediately drew the residents' attention.
"What a huge bird! Is it a protected species?"
"Why does it keep wiggling its butt? Looks kind of... cheap."
"There are people on it! Beast Tamers!"
The crowd below buzzed with discussion. Clearly, very few of them had ever seen anyone flying over their town.
Xu Xingxing spoke up. "Sis Fang Si, which way do we fly now?"
"Head for the government building!" Fang Si said.
The Mutant Thunderbird rocketed forward, and the group landed directly in front of the township government office.
Mayor Wang Wei Yi had been waiting for quite some time, having evidently received advance notice.
When he saw the cluster of people atop the Mutant Thunderbird, he couldn't help but look startled.
Could it be that all five of them were Dragon Guards?
Was the Dragon Guard's budget this tight nowadays? Five people sharing a single flying mount?
A flicker of doubt crossed his eyes. Their vibe, especially -- something about them just didn't scream "official personnel."
"Dragon Guard intern, Fang Si!"
Fang Si announced herself, leaping off the Mutant Thunderbird and landing firmly on her feet.
The silver armband on her right wrist gleamed brilliantly, commanding instant respect.
"Wangxing Township Mayor Wang Wei Yi, reporting for duty and awaiting your orders!"
Wang Wei Yi's expression turned respectful, his eyes filled with envy.
To become a Dragon Guard intern at such a young age -- she was obviously a top-tier genius of the entire nation.
"Mayor Wang, where was the beast horde spotted?"
Fang Si cut straight to business. Based on the intelligence she'd received, the beast horde had passed through the town but hadn't attacked.
Wang Wei Yi's face was taut with anxiety as he replied:
"Two hours ago, a pack of black dog-like beasts passed through, heading due south!"
Fang Si rubbed her chin, a contemplative look in her eyes. "Sounds like Black Claw Beasts."
These beasts had a fairly high bloodline tier -- at minimum, they were 9th-rank creatures.
Once they mutated, they'd reach Black Iron rank. And their Lord was most likely a Black Iron Three-Star entity.
But now that Fang Si herself had reached Black Iron Three-Star, she had no reason to fear any Lord of the same tier.
"Much appreciated!"
Fang Si nodded and was about to climb back onto the Mutant Thunderbird.
Wang Wei Yi suddenly stepped forward, discreetly producing an envelope in his hands and saying:
"The matter of the beast horde -- I humbly entrust it to you!"
As mayor, he was terrified that Fang Si might half-ass it. If even one or two beasts slipped through, the entire township would be at risk.
"That's not necess--"
Fang Si was momentarily speechless. She hadn't expected him to pull this move. As a Dragon Guard, did he really think she'd be tempted by this kind of pocket change?
"Don't worry about a thing! We'll absolutely give it our all!"
But Chen Shu was already grinning ear to ear, his right hand reaching out reflexively to take the envelope.
Slap!
"Let's go!"
Fang Si's mouth twitched and she swatted Chen Shu's hand away.
You're not even a Dragon Guard and you're already trying to accept bribes?! Where do you get the nerve?!
The group climbed back onto the Mutant Thunderbird and headed south from Wangxing Township.
"Chen Pi!"
Fang Si turned to him with a dead-serious expression. "Promise me something. Just be a freelance Beast Tamer. Don't ever -- ever -- join an official organization, okay?"
With a personality this greedy, it was only a matter of time before disaster struck.
Once someone reported him, the punishment would be severe -- possibly even prison.
He was just an ordinary civilian right now and already had his hand out for cash. How much worse would it get later?
"Sis Fang Si, my dream is to serve my country and contribute to the construction of a harmonious society--"
"Give it a rest!"
All four of them said it in unison. Here he went again with his bullshit, and today's was especially outrageous.
"What? How come nobody ever believes me?"
Chen Shu let out a sigh. "I'd never accept a bribe. Besides, that mayor only offered fifty thousand yuan. Honestly not enough to move me."
Fang Si's eyes went wide. The realization hit her like a truck. "How do you know it was fifty thousand yuan?"
Everyone else turned to stare at him too. Chen Shu had barely touched the envelope. He'd never even opened it.
"Uh... experience, that's all," Chen Shu said, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. "I've gotta prepare for the future, you know..."
Everyone gave him the internationally recognized gesture of contempt.
...
"The beast horde's going to be hard to track!"
Fang Si furrowed her brow. Relying on the naked eye alone, finding a beast horde was no easy task.
On top of that, the Black Claw Beast pack had left two hours ago. They might not have stayed on a due-south heading.
Even the slightest deviation would mean the gap between the two groups would only widen.
Chen Shu nodded and turned to Xie Sunan. "Old Xie, you're up!"
The terrain below had gradually turned desolate.
The area was devoid of people, choked with wild grass that grew at least as tall as a person.
If the Black Claw Beasts were hiding in that sea of grass, spotting them would be next to impossible.
Xie Sunan nodded and summoned his Winged Caterpillar.
The Winged Caterpillar settled onto his shoulder, radiating an energy field as it scanned for the beasts' location.
"A recon-type contract spirit?"
Fang Si raised an eyebrow. No wonder they could be Chen Pi's roommates -- turns out they all had hidden tricks up their sleeves.
Ten minutes later.
Xie Sunan spoke up suddenly. "There are traces of Black Claw Beasts below! Be careful!"
Nothing but wild grass stretched beneath them. Barren hills rose in the distance. The surroundings were utterly silent -- not a single beast's roar echoed through the air.
All five of them went on high alert, but none summoned their contract spirits.
The Mutant Thunderbird was already struggling under the weight of five riders. Adding another contract spirit would absolutely send them into a nosedive.
"Found them!"
The Winged Caterpillar's eyes blazed with brilliant green light. The glow extended outward as if it had a will of its own, streaking forward at high speed.
The green light came to a stop, hovering over a patch of grass two thousand meters ahead.
"That fast?"
Fang Si was genuinely taken aback. She hadn't expected Xie Sunan's scouting ability to be this strong.
"Gain altitude!"
Black Claw Beasts couldn't fly. Staying on the Mutant Thunderbird's back meant they had nothing to worry about.
The Mutant Thunderbird beat its wings once, straining to climb higher.
The distance between the two groups shrank steadily.
At the head of the Black Claw Beast pack, a massive, powerfully built Black Claw Beast Lord seemed to sense something.
It jerked its head upward. Its eyes went wide.
The fuck is that thing? Why is it so goddamn blinding?!
It didn't understand the light of love, but its instincts screamed that something was deeply wrong. The Lord accelerated the entire pack.
"It's definitely up ahead!"
Fang Si could now clearly see vast swathes of grass rippling and surging -- something was hidden beneath, and there was a lot of it.
"Holy shit, there's THAT many?!"
Chen Shu's eyes were equally sharp. He spotted the mass of churning grass in an instant.
And almost on pure instinct, his hand reached into his bag and pulled out a gray potion vial...
"HOLY SHIT! BRO!"
Xie Sunan and Xu Xingxing's bodies seized up. They nearly pissed themselves on the spot.
Please, I'm begging you -- just act like a human being! [1]
You're just pulling out a goddamn NUKE without a single word of warning?!
[1] 求求你当个人吧 (qiu qiu ni dang ge ren ba): A Chinese internet exasperation phrase meaning "I beg you, please just act like a normal human being." It originated in fan culture around 2017 and had spread widely by 2020 as the go-to response when someone's behavior is so outrageously absurd that onlookers can only beg them to return to baseline humanity.